What a hotel can tell you about your life.

Posted on September 20, 2010

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I was recently out of town on a business trip, and while staying two nights in a well-appointed hotel, I came to realize a few things about my life, and life in general.

 1. I need an iron.

The hotel has a built-in iron, with ironing board…in the closet. And as I was running said iron over my shirt for the next day’s meeting, I realized the only time I ever iron my clothes is when I’m staying at a hotel. That’s kind of sad. If the hotel can find a way to fit an iron in every room, I certainly should be able to get my act together at home. Too bad my laundry room is also an office, storage, and mud room, with every square inch already dedicated to some function or another. And I’ve only got the one (tiny) closet in my house, which is currently filled to capacity with two people’s clothes. On second thought…maybe I should just stick with my plan of buying clothing that looks good wrinkled. Thank god for linen.

 2. I was correct not to get cable television.

Aside from the fact that the cable company has been stalking me, I also realized another reason to avoid cable TV. While lounging in my hotel room after a long day of meetings I realized that my life would come to a grinding, screeching halt if I had regular access to more than seven channels of television. Apparently there is a new(ish) TV station called “Ion TV” and it features three episodes of “Criminal Minds” every week night. That’s three hours of serial-killer hunting every night of the week. Two nights in a row of this kind of vapidly wondrous entertainment nearly melted my brain into a puddle akin to those inhabiting the noggins of regular Fox News viewers.

 3. I need a taller ceiling in my house.

In addition to being only 580 square feet, my tiny little cottage-house also has exceptionally low ceilings. I can touch the ceiling with flat palms (granted, I’m also very tall). Which, in most cases isn’t a big deal…except…I can’t jump on the bed. Well, maybe if I got down on all fours – but have you ever tried jumping while on all fours? Yeah? How did that turn out? Anyway. The hotel had wonderfully high ceilings and I did indulge in a jump or two. Because I could. And because being almost 30 years old shouldn’t stop me from taking advantage of these things.

 Um. I think that’s all for now. More than three insights at once is a little too close to religion for my taste. And I’m not ready for nirvana yet.

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